I have a pet peeve. It starts with two words: “we should.”
“We should post more on Facebook.” “We should take pictures of what people are working on and write stories about them.” “We should start a Discord server.” “We should do video.” “We should…”
None of those are bad ideas. Some of them are really good ideas. But I’ve noticed that the person saying “we should” usually has no plans to be part of the “we.” What they mean is that somebody else should, and the somebody else they have in mind is usually whoever tends to end up doing things.
This came about because of several conversations around a non-profit that I help run. It isn’t about any particular conversation, and it isn’t only about our organization.
I call it giving someone else homework. The idea gets handed over, the person who suggested it feels like they contributed, and the actual work lands on someone else’s desk. It happens at work, at church, in clubs and volunteer groups, and at home.
What bothers me most is that there is usually nothing stopping the person from doing it themselves. Every one of us carries a phone that shoots better video and takes better pictures than equipment that cost thousands of dollars not that long ago. Anyone can contribute to a Facebook page or set up a Discord server in a few minutes. And there are free tutorials online for nearly everything. The tools are not the obstacle.
The video question
Video is one that tends to bother me the most. I have shot and edited video before. I know how much work goes into it, and I’ve done it enough to know I don’t like it.
So when someone says we should be doing video, I don’t push the idea along. I’m not against video. Video is great. I just know what it takes, and I don’t want to do it. I also don’t want to hand it to someone else just because I don’t want to do it. That would be me giving out a homework assignment, which is exactly what I’m trying to stop.
If someone loves making video and it isn’t a burden to them, I’m all for it, and I’ll help however I can to make it happen. But I’m not going to volunteer someone else for it.
Asking for help is different
I like helping people. I really do enjoy helping someone accomplish something they want to do, and I appreciate it when someone asks me to show them how. That tells me they want to do the project themselves, which is a completely different thing from “we should.”
Where I struggle is when someone wants the skill but doesn’t want to put in any effort to get it. If they haven’t tried anything or looked anything up, and they’re waiting for me to walk them through what a few minutes of searching would have shown them, it’s hard for me to get excited about teaching it. I’m glad to help someone who is stuck. I’m a lot less excited about doing the starting for them.
You have to learn it
Several years ago I heard Lýdia Machová make a point I have never forgotten: no one can teach you a language, you have to learn it.
I’m a student of both Spanish and ASL, and I believe that statement completely. A lot of people think of learning languages as something you’re either good at or not. They look at someone who speaks two or three languages and assume that person has a gift. What they don’t see is that everyone who speaks more than one language had to do the work to learn it. A teacher can guide you, correct you, and point you to good material. But nobody can put the language in your head for you.
I think the same is true of other skills. We all need help and guidance when we learn something new. But wishing a skill into existence doesn’t work, and neither does wishing a project into existence by announcing that “we should” do it.
So go do stuff
If you have an idea you want to see happen, start it. Take the pictures. Write the post. Set up the server. Shoot the video. If you get stuck, ask someone to help you. Most people who know how will be glad to help you.
But if it’s something you want done and don’t want to do yourself, think twice before you say “we should.” You might just be handing someone else your homework.